To be proud of because that person has made his or her own place in this world?
Or to be mourned over because he or she couldn't fit in the large society that dominates this world?
Are we born to grow as a society? If we are, how can we make any difference if we don't feel like we belong to this society? What if solidity is the greatest pleasure that someone could achieve? Will that be a hindrance to the greater good of the community?
Whenever I see you, him or her, how I wish I was just like the person my eyes are watching? How I wish I could break through the barrier I have slowly built since I was young?
I used to think that I carve my own path in this world. I give no damn about what others think. But, I was wrong. As much that I want to believe that the world is mine to live in, I also realise deep in my heart that I have to share my world with others who also think that the world belongs to them. No, I don't want to be Hitler. But, I don't want to be a prisoner of social norms either. Tradition, religion, fashion, entertainment world. I was blind, or at least pretended to be blind to these things. My poor memory power helped me to back away whenever friends gossiped about the film industry, my religious teacher told me tonnes of religious stories, or my close friend advised me on fashion. I didn't care because I couldn't pretend to be the girl everyone wanted to see.
That kind of isolation comes with a price, you see. It's very hard for me to belong to any group. It's even harder to maintain the relationship within a group of people. This is all because in the end, I enjoy being alone, or with another person. Anything more than that, and I have a hard time mingling around. All the while, I thought it was a jinx. I thought this nature was born with me. But, now I realise that it was the consequence of trying to find my own path.
There are two ways to grow: to grow together or to grow alone. When we grow together, we grow as a community. We grow as a harmonious ecosystem, developing a symbiotic relationship essential for the development of not only the human beings, but also other living and non-living things. When someone grows alone, he is still in the society, thanks to the relationship between other humans, but he is secluded. He is secluded from the societal happenings. He might be well aware of everything. He might be the genius among the geniuses, but he fails to level himself with the others.
Everyone's alone in this world. Others might understand someone very well, but in the end, no one knows that someone better than that someone himself. Then, why all the buzz about society? Why should we even care? "I carry my load, you carry yours. We are on our separate ways." We might think that. What we don't realise is that the thought itself is an illusion. What we thought as separate ways actually lead to the same journey: life. We wouldn't have made this far if our ancestors didn't realise that long time ago. It might be some biological instinct, or some electrochemical waves intersection, but deep in our heart, we care for humanity. Even though every single human being is discrete and unique, only a combination of every discrete elements in this world can make it seem like life is continuous.
So, as a society, we belong together. Yet, we are separated by different bodies and souls. The way I think will never be the same as yours. So, when someone feels like he/she belongs nowhere, what nowhere actually means here might very well be the society. He/she does belong somewhere: to himself/herself. Maybe that person is so much into self thoughts and personality that he/she is uncomfortable with the others. There might be great fear within that person. "Will I fit in?" Or there might even be frustration. "Why can't I ever fit in?" Most of the human beings are able to overcome these fear and frustration and live a good life with the society. Some are trapped in this terrible self-dilemma and are never able to mingle harmoniously with the society. They prefer to shut themselves off and be confined into the small little fantasy world they've created to themselves. Does that mean they've made their own space in this world? Or is that just their foolishness for not suiting themselves with what the rest of the earthians do?
To be continued.
It's just some random thoughts I've been having for a very long time now. It's very unorganised, but I thought I'd just put up some of the thoughts here. Thanks for reading it, and feel free to comment on it.
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